Let me pipe up real quick.

Some of us think we broke because we yelled.
Because we snapped.
Because the weight finally spilled out our mouths and burned everyone it touched.
But the truth is…
The break didn’t happen in that moment.
It happened way before.

Let’s unpack it.

What Leads to a Breaking Point

Before you crash, you carry.

You carry every loud moment you were told to be quiet.
Every time you were scared and no one came.
Every time you wanted love and got discipline instead.
All of that lives in your body—and if no one ever taught you how to heal it, it waits.
It waits until your heart feels something too familiar.
A tone. A look. A disrespect. A dismissal.
And suddenly… you’re back in survival mode.

You see, a lot of us were raised on alert.
We learned to protect ourselves before we learned to understand ourselves.
So now, as men, we don’t always know how to feel things safely—we just react.
We shut down, lash out, or disappear.

That’s not evil. That’s unprocessed pain.
But it still hurts people. And that’s where the responsibility kicks in.

So here’s the first step:

• Notice your patterns.

• Name what you’re feeling.

• Ask yourself: "Is this from now, or is this from then?"
  When you can separate the past from the present, you unlock freedom.

The Aftermath

The crash out happened. Maybe it was loud. Maybe it was silent.
Maybe you hurt someone you love.
Or maybe you just hurt yourself—spiraled in your own head, said things to your reflection you’d never say to someone else.

The thing about breaking points is… they don’t just harm.
They echo.

Now someone in the world knows a version of you that’s not the full you.
They met your pain, not your peace.
They saw your fear, not your faith.

So what do you do next?

You own it.
But you don’t shame yourself.
You make peace, not for their approval—but for your evolution.
You apologize without expectations.
You tell the truth without excuses.
And if they don’t listen, don’t forgive, don’t stay?
That’s their right. And you still walk away knowing you tried.

And if the person you hurt was yourself?
Then you don’t leave that conversation until you challenge the lies you told yourself.
“You’re worthless.”
“You always mess up.”
“Nobody cares.”
Those words didn’t come from you—they were planted.
Now it’s time to dig them up and replace them with truth:
“I am loved.”
“I am healing.”
“I am becoming.”

The Moment In Between

This is the most important part.
That split second.
The moment after you’ve been triggered—but before you act.

That’s where the work lives.
That’s where the man you’re becoming gets to speak louder than the boy who was hurt.

Here’s the truth:
Two people can be in the same situation and respond completely differently.
Because it’s never about the situation—it’s about who you are when it happens.

Your response is your reflection.

So when someone disrespects you, that’s on them.
But how you respond? That’s you.
And that space in between—the inhale before the explosion—that’s your chance to choose.

Recognize it.
Pause.
Breathe.
Ask yourself: “Is this me... or my pain responding?”

That shift changes everything.
And when you master it for yourself, you start seeing it in others too.
That person lashing out at you?
That’s them at their breaking point.
And suddenly… instead of meeting fire with fire, you can offer water.

That’s love.
Not softness. Not weakness.
Power.
Discipline.
Control.
Mercy.

So here’s the call:
Love yourself in that split-second space.
So that when someone else is breaking—you’re not joining them. You’re guiding them.
Not to excuse them. Not to enable them.
But to end the cycle that nearly swallowed you too.

Because we all carry something.
But here—you don’t have to carry it alone.

Pipe Up.

More Weight To Unpack:

All of this is just us trying to become the man we want to be, and it can be challenging. I do not want to leave you to do this alone so I created a free to download 7 Day Reflection Journal that you can use to help you undo these toxic beliefs.

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